


Memory and Regret

by blackbirdofasgard



Series: Victory [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Loki feels things and wishes he didn't, Mild Language, One Shot, Other, Reader vanished into dust in the Snap, complicated feelings, other than the comfort that I swear this series will eventually have a happy ending, seriously this is just straight-up angst with no comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25116880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackbirdofasgard/pseuds/blackbirdofasgard
Summary: Part of the Victory series, set after 'Escape' during a several-year time skip. The events of Avengers: Infinity War have taken place. Loki lived through it this time. You may not have been so lucky.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Series: Victory [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1751533
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	Memory and Regret

**Author's Note:**

> Like it says in the tags, there's no happiness here. Good news is this one-shot isn't very long.

In the end, it was Thor who convinced Loki to go. The New York memorial to the Vanished had just been completed not long ago, located only a few minutes away from the Avengers' upstate base. A sobering reminder of their failure.

Loki had been putting it off for too long. Even before Thor had started trying to convince him, he'd known deep down that this was something that he should do, like it or not. So, subtly disguised in casual Midgardian clothing and a green ballcap, Loki walked to the memorial, alone.

The journey there was uneventful. With only half the world's population left, that meant half the interruptions to slow his progress. To be honest, Loki wouldn't have stopped even if he _had_ been interrupted. He spent the time walking trying to keep his mind cleared of all emotion. Not easy, as the sole overall feeling covering the entire universe was mourning.

Too soon, the wide expanse of stone monoliths came into view. Only the constant grey, overcast skies overhead could provide an appropriate backdrop for what the stone slabs really were: millions of people's gravestones. Gravestones with no bodies to bury beneath. Only memories.

As Loki scanned the hundreds of names on the slabs, his feet led him right where he needed to go. He'd thought he was prepared, but as soon as he saw the name, he froze and his heart gave an agonizing shudder. Your name, right before his eyes, carved in stone.

He'd already known of your fate, but seeing your name there, among so many thousands of other faceless names, made it suddenly real.

Loki's hands clenched into fists as he tried to master himself and rein in his emotions. Even so, tears quickly filled his eyes as he glared at your name. He cursed himself, for letting himself feel anything. He cursed Thor, for urging him to pay his respects to the dead. Most of all, he cursed you.

He had no idea whether you would want him visiting your gravesite at all. He'd never know. You had pushed him away. Loki was still bitter about it. The bitterness had only grown now that there was no possible way that the two of you could try to make things work anymore.

He had believed for a long time that his only chance at happiness rested with you. That chance had been dashed away from his hands yet again, and now he would forever have to live with not knowing.

"Damn you," he hissed under his breath as tears flowed down his cheeks to his clenched teeth, "Damn you, (Y/N)..."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.
> 
> If it's any consolation, you are returned to life with the rest of the Vanished, and the next part of the series picks up some time after that. I'll be posting the first chapter soon! It's been a bumpy ride, but we're getting to the happy ending. Keep hanging in there!


End file.
